Scars and Cigarette Burns
by Moniposa
Summary: "It's a push; go ahead and do it, but you didn't hear it from us. We don't advocate it, yet we do. Shunned, but always there, an encouraging hand guiding you forward. Hah." It isn't all peaches and cream when you're Karkat and Terezi. Their tale is one of a nightmarish state that is their reality. (They're grown up. Strong themes ahead)


(Disclaimer: Homestuck and its characters belong to Andrew Hussie)

* * *

"_It's a push; go ahead and do it, but you didn't hear it from us. We don't advocate it, yet we do. Shunned, but always there, an encouraging hand guiding you forward. Hah."_

* * *

Karkat's fingers trailed over the silken material of the couch, using all the patience he could muster to wait for his companion. It wasn't that she _meant_ to be late, more so that she couldn't _help _it. He had already taken off his dark gray coat, sliding it over the armrest of the sofa. His stance changed to a hunched one, running his fingers through his dark hair and avoiding his horns. He had to get home and cook dinner, but he had to talk to her; see with his own eyes how she was doing.

The door to his left creaked open, his eyes darting to the slit. A young lady glanced inside, her nose upturned as she sniffed the air. She looked directly at Karkat before a toothy grin slid into place. She entered and shut the door, zipping up the dark green hoodie she had donned for the occasion. She walked towards him and sat next to him on the couch, crossing her long legs.

"Terezi. You're late." Karkat's lips were set into a fine line, his eyes inspecting his associate. She didn't seem any different than before. But eyes could only see so much.

"I'm sorry Karkat; I just had some business to deal with, y'know?" Her eyes shrouded with red met his, but he knew that she couldn't see him. Poor girl was blind.

"Yea, I get it," He muttered before shuffling around in his pockets for the gift he brought her. Karkat never thought much of it, but Terezi seemed to like it. So whenever he visited, he would give her a packet of four pieces of chalk and she would put it away for later.

"_So what are you going to do with the chalk?" _Karkat had asked dubiously before. She had asked him to bring chalk, and he hadn't of questioned it until then.

"_It depends. Sometimes I like to smell it. Life is just so bland locked up. The colors and scents are amazing."_ Her ruby eyes shut contentedly as she had brought the packet to her face. Her nostrils flared, but she didn't make any movements to take it out. 'For later' she told him.

"_And other times?"_ He continued.

"_I like to draw on the walls. I got in trouble before, and they had taken my chalk. But now I'm more careful about it." _She had stuffed the gift into a pocket and smoothed it out.

And Karkat didn't ask anymore. All he wanted to know was why, and she had answered fully and honestly. As long as he had known Terezi, he knew that she wouldn't lie. It wasn't in her nature.

"Here," Karkat took out the peach, purple, red and green pieces of chalk neatly wrapped in their packaging and reached over to open her hands and placed the chalk in her smooth palms. "They're different colors from before except for one. I tried my best." He curled her fingers around the package before she gave him another one of her smiles.

"Thank you so much for bringing them, though." Terezi placed her hand on Karkat's and patted it comfortingly. She put the chalk into one of her sweated pockets and patted them safely to her side.

"A-are you well? I know it isn't the best question, but you worry me. You're so vivacious that I think people try to take you down a notch." He stuffed his hands into his pockets, his back leaning into the curve of the sofa. He kept his eyes trained on her; this was the only time he had with her and tried to make the best of it.

"Yeah. They don't hit me as much as they used to, so that's a good thing!" She laughed, brushing a strand of hair from her face. This was a bit of what she could tell Karkat. There were limits to what she could say, lest her get in trouble again.

"It's not right that they can beat you, Terezi. You can't let them!" Karkat's anger was wafting throughout the room so strongly that Terezi could taste it. She patted his hand again and turned her head downwards. His disappointment wasn't so strongly tasted then.

"It's all I have and you know that," She replied softly, turning her head up once again to give him a reassuring smile.

"No, it isn't. You're a smart girl! You could do anything you wanted other than stay here for another hour. It _isn't _for you. I may not know much, but those are one of the few things I do know. Trust me." He tried to stare into her, looking for something in those clouded eyes of hers that she at least acknowledged what he said. He was confirmed with a single nod from her, her hands tightening around his.

"It . . . is true. And I guess I can understand where you're coming from. But you have to understand _my _viewpoint. It isn't all rainbows and magical dragons in here you know! It's so difficult . . . but I can't leave. . . not yet. . ." Her eyes had begun to fill with turquoise droplets, her arm swiftly wiping them away. She couldn't seem weak in front of Karkat; he already thought she was in a bad position. She didn't want him to think less of her.

"But you can, and I can help," Karkat continued, still stubborn as ever. He knew that Terezi was resilient, but not so much that she was immune to the cruelties surrounding her. He actually admired her for it, but he wasn't going to voice his thoughts out loud. She probably thought that he was a rock; couldn't let her down and show his soft side. Not yet.

"Are you okay, Karkat?" Terezi tried to change the subject, and even though Karkat knew what she was doing, he let her.

"I've had better days. I just got fired for telling a coworker off. The manager didn't appreciate it so he laid my ass off," Karkat loosened his tie, a devilish grin appearing on his face. "Haven't felt so relieved in weeks." He glanced at Terezi to see an inquiring look in her eyes.

"What did you say? You always have the best insults." She leaned in closer, her hands clenching into fists. She bounced up and down, her excitement tangible in the air.

Karkat gave a chuckle as he dove head-first into his tirade about how the person was way too full of himself for the past weeks and that Karkat called him a 'bulgefucking probing dunderfuck'. Terezi laughed, her mirth pealing happily in Karkat's ears. He did love her laugh, though when she did it was rare. Sometimes even his awful jokes would get a snicker or two out of her and it made his day.

Terezi sighed blissfully, her fingers wiping away the tears her laughter had brought. She loved hearing his stories and she always looked forward to them. Time with him was the only quality time she had, and it made her happy to spend time with him. Even if it was short-lived, she could sometimes visit him again. Only if he paid of course.

It wasn't her rule that he had to pay to come visit her. If it was up to her, she'd let him come for free, whenever he wanted. But she didn't make the rules; They did and it wasn't fair that They charged him. She was worried that if he didn't have any money, he wouldn't visit at all. Or if he did have the money and decided it wasn't worth it to waste it on her. It was a selfish wish, and she knew it. But he was all that she had left.

"Karkat?" Terezi murmured quietly. She fiddled with her fingers, not wanting him to look at her aspect.

"Hmm?" He leaned closer to her, her words so soft that it was difficult for him to hear.

"You're still coming to visit, right?" She leaned her cheek on her palm, face upturned to his. She could smell that he was confused, and somewhat surprised.

"I'll find another job and it won't be as hard to visit you. If I'd known that I would've still needed the job to pay Their outrageous prices, I would've kept my trap shut."

Terezi turned her face towards the door she had entered and could smell animosity on the other side. She blanched, but tried to keep her composure for just a few more minutes.

"I have to go; I'll see you soon, okay Karkitty?" She gave him a smile before she left the room, her steps quick and determined.

Karkat mulled over the nickname. He knew that he hated it when others used the nickname, and the one time that Terezi had called him that, something happened afterwards.

He couldn't recall it.

* * *

Days had turned into weeks the last time he saw Terezi. After the mishap at work, he tried his best in job searching, applying for anything he could. Before he got fired he worked at a corporation; great pay, but little respect. Female trolls would be used as eye-candy for the rest of the staff, and he was disgusted by how crude it was.

But it seemed that now no one would hire him because he was 'over-qualified'. Nobody wanted employ someone who could take their job from underneath them. The money he had saved was slowly dwindling, and when he tried to visit Terezi, they wouldn't accept his money anymore. They never said why, and only raised the prices outrageously. He had kicked and screamed to let him see her, but they simply kicked him out, never to let him inside again until he agreed to pay what was demanded.

Karkat was finally able to land a job as a manager for some dirty feeding establishment. The previous manager had stolen all the money there was, but the idiot was caught by one of the employees. With weeks of saving up his money, it still wasn't enough to pay what They wanted. He had to see her, even if it was by force.

Karkat eventually formed a plan letting him slip in unnoticed and quietly. He had made a sort of foam to make different horns over the ones he already had, and he changed his clothes to something more conservative. The buffoons wouldn't notice anything different about him. Or that was what he hoped.

Working his way to the establishment where Terezi was at, he slipped past the bodyguards at the doors, his body hunched to hide his face further. The smells in the rooms wafted of sweat and grime, making Karkat want to vomit. It wasn't an ideal place, but there was a room here where he met Terezi that didn't smell as awful.

The place was dark, mauve lights washing the room over in a façade of calm. All lies. Nothing about this place told someone that this place would be tranquil.

Loud catcalls and grunts of appraisal were all over the place, not a single one alike. Murmurs and sloppy clicks from mouths were on all sides of him as he looked for the blind girl with the crimson eyes. He had entered a room, the door colored brown with white paint chipping off of it. The smell of cigarettes slammed into his face, his nose crinkling in disgust. Karkat immediately noticed a couple sitting on a pink loveseat, both immersed in themselves and not towards the pair next to them. A male troll, older than him and horns twisting in all directions was running his mouth along the neck of a younger female troll, her legs wrapped around his waist.

This scene was exactly what was probably being portrayed in all the other rooms.

Cheap sex.

Prostitution.

And this was the place where Terezi resided. This was her home.

Karkat's eyes darted to the couple next to the first, another male troll running his hands up a female's legs, but she didn't respond. Her arms were limp at her sides and her face was lolled to the side. Karkat could tell she was still breathing, but he didn't think for a moment to dive after her.

Terezi needed his help and he wasn't just going to _stand there._

"Terezi, Terezi. Talk to me. Hey! Talk to me!" He crouched next to her, shaking her small frame to get a response out of her. The guy that was next to her was grumbling in annoyance, but Karkat ignored him.

Her face was sweaty and clammy, her breathing erratic. She seemed to hear him because she turned her head to him and gave him a smile. "Karkat, you're here," She whispered, her voice shaking.

"What the fuck have you been up to!?" Karkat scooped up her limp body despite the other troll's defiance. He didn't care that he might get in extreme trouble because of him taking her. He really didn't care at all.

"Hah, since you haven't visited in so long, I thought you forgot me. You forgot me, and so I played with some things. Things that aren't meant for me, you see." Her glasses slipped off her face, that smile still playing on her lips.

Karkat stopped for a second in shock before he continued on his way out the door. Nobody stopped him. 'She's no use to us anymore; keep her,' someone had yelled towards him. He had to take deep breaths in order to keep his anger under control. She wasn't some damn object you could throw away when she wasn't 'useful' anymore!

"You experimented with drugs?" His voice was low as he walked down the street. It wouldn't be that long until he reached his hive so he could see what he could do for her.

"It was so exciting though, Karkat. There were so many tastes and smells; it didn't make life so bland anymore. I was so boring and optimistic, wasn't I? That's why you stopped visiting," Her voice was getting smaller and smaller each minute. Terezi's trembling hands grabbed onto his shirt.

"I swear I would've come sooner," His voice cracked. His fault. It was his fault she was slowly slipping.

"There weren't enough smells and I wanted more. They gave me more and more until that's all I saw."

Karkat reached his hive and set her down gently on the ground. He needed to check her now; there wasn't any time. Karkat's hands brushed aside the blouse that was covering her to see the blossoming bruises covering her body. They always beat her down when she was too happy, or didn't do what they wanted to a 'T'.

"Karkitty, I'll miss you. All the times we had were so great; I could be myself without being berated for it. Thank you . . . so much." Terezi's chested heaved once more. The body he held that was once full of life had gone limp, her being gone.

"Terezi, wake up. Wake up goddamnit! You're still here, we can still talk, and you can be yourself." Tears had begun to run down his sallow cheeks, his hands cradling her head.

"You can't be gone! You can't be gone because I love you. I love you so much that it hurts me when they hurt you. You're the only one I care for and I—" His voice hitched as he leaned his forehead onto hers.

He now remembered.

The last time Terezi had called him 'Karkitty' was before she was nearly beaten to death by Them.

He had saved her before, but now there wasn't anything left to do.

The prostitute's cruelty was gone, but his love for her stayed.

"_It's a push; go ahead and do it, but you didn't hear it from us. We don't advocate it, yet we do. Shunned, but always there, an encouraging hand guiding you forward. Hah._

_Death."_


End file.
